To add a story, a memory, a concert date with Donny, or a laugh, please email Julie at julie.wilhelm1@gmail.com. If you sent it to the other web page please re-send to this one.

Words from Maya Angelou: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Donny always made me feel like I mattered and was valued. He listened, cared, and there was a warmth to his presence. I will never forget the way he made me feel. Thinking and praying for your family often.

~Neil Murray

During the zoom gathering we had earlier this year, one of the things Donny’s friend Jay said really struck me. He told a story about Donny allowing his little kids to climb all over him for hours on end with a smile on his face the whole time (paraphrasing). To me, hearing him tell that story just perfectly described Donny. He was so easy going and so kind. I honestly cannot ever remember him outwardly displaying anger or frustration. So, that story really hit a nerve for me. I have three young kids and they definitely test my patience daily. Ever since hearing Jay tell his story about Donny, my personal motto with my kids has been “be like Donny.” When they are whining or fighting, being destructive, or just pushing boundaries I tell myself to “be like Donny. They’re kids, who cares what’s happening as long as they aren’t hurting themselves or someone else.” I try to steal good bits and pieces from my friends, family and others to use in my life to be a better person. There are a ton of great qualities that rubbed off on me from Donny, but it’s funny that what sticks most these days is something I heard about Donny from a mutual friend that I have never met. I miss my friend. I think about him everyday. There was no one else like him, and I will always strive to “be like Donny.”

~Craig Smith

I met Megan while studying abroad in London our junior year of college, and met Donny through her. Donny and I became really good buddies when I moved to Chicago after graduating college. One thing that was always very noticeable about him was how selfless he was. He always took so much time out of his week to help me out in my trading career, even when he had a lot going on with his own work. I remember planning to meet up with him after work to talk for an hour, and leaving 3 hours later because I was enjoying our conversations so much. He was such a great guy to be around. I actually used to come down to the city to hang out with him, and since I didn’t have any place to sleep he would let me crash on the couch. Donny was a remarkable person, and it wasn’t just me that thought that of him, but everyone. He will be so missed. When it gets hard think of your favorite memory you guys have together.

~Blake Benbow

I have known Donny since elementary school and every memory I have of him always has someone smiling and laughing. One of my favorite memories was from my junior year of high school. After being chosen as prom queen, Donny made sure that everyone knew. Whether he saw me in the hallway or I came to his class to drop off a pass from the office, Donny would loudly proclaim “The prom queen is here!” On several occasions Donny would interrupt the teacher just to announce me. If anyone else would have done this the teacher would have been frustrated, but Donny had a way about him and a great smile that made it impossible to get mad. Although my face turned bright red every time I heard him yell “prom queen,” he really made me feel special.

~Angie (Nolan) Von Hoff

 As I try and embrace the “joys” of the third trimester of pregnancy, I often hear Donny in my head. Donny said I had “Gremlin Toes,” because they are short, and wondered how those “creepy little toes” kept me standing upright. I wish I could send him a picture of my feet when they’re swollen to hear his reply. Baby Bean is also doing his fair share of movements. When he is really active I think of it as Bean having a dance party, doing the classic arm/fist move that Donny frequently did. I wonder if he’ll have dance moves like his Uncle Donny once he’s born?!

~Megan, Donny’s favorite sister

Friend, Pete Manhart:

A little background: Donny was a good friend of mine and a constant in my life for about 12 years.  We met at the Chicago trading firm Hanley Group, where we both started out as clerks in the options pits at the Chicago Board of Trade.  We both had studied physics in college and Donny was generally an easy going and hilarious guy so we got along great.  After a year or so, we both joined the energy desk at Hanley Group where we worked closely together for a couple years before he left to start his own desk at another company.  He eventually came BACK to Hanley Group to join me again a couple years later.  We ended up closing our desk there and then both interviewed together at another company.  He got a job that I badly wanted at Allston while I went elsewhere.  For the next 5-6 years, even though we weren't working at the same company, we'd talk almost every day about this and that - sometimes about the markets, sometimes just joking around. 

Donny and I had a tradition that we'd meet up every year at Christkindlmarket in downtown Chicago at least once.  I think we made it there something like 10 years in a row.  Even in late 2019 when he was living up in Wisconsin, he made sure to drive down on a specific day when I was free after work to make it possible for us to keep the tradition alive.  We had a whole system figured out, our favorite place to sit, what to order.  It was great.

I was always impressed by how passionate Donny was about trading, finance, math, science.  I would see him all the time reading various scientific papers explaining this or that new concept or theory.  When I got fired from a job once, he printed out all these books and articles to try to help me learn some new concepts.  Donny also helped change my career trajectory in a big way.  In 2013, after he had come back to work with me again at Hanley Group, I told him I was interested in learning how to code (mostly because I saw all these skills Donny had, and I wanted to be more like Donny!), and he set me on a course that honestly changed my life.  He told me I should learn how to code in Python, he recommended a number of online classes I could take, many for learning Python, and one class about machine learning.  Now, 7 years later, my full time job is machine learning in Python!  I ended up loving all of these classes and coding in general, and I spent the next 5 years working on these skills to get them to a point where I could get hired solely based on my coding and predictive modeling ability.  I'm very happy with my new career now and with all the doors these coding skills have opened, and honestly it's all thanks to Donny.  If he hadn't come back to Hanley Group to join my desk in 2013 and then helped me get started with coding, I'd be in a completely different place right now in my life.  It's a bigger impact than almost any other person has had on my life in the last 10 years (other than my wife marrying me).  

One of the last times I saw Donny was January in Chicago.  It was a day or two before he was going to move to NYC.  We met up at this bar that is a little walk off one of the main streets in Chicago, so there were no people at all standing or walking outside the front door of this place.  But they had this really cool music playing through some speakers just outside the front door.  Donny and I had a couple drinks inside and then I had 20 minutes or so until I had to catch the Metra, so he and I passed the time by just dancing right there outside the front door in the freezing cold to this awesome music.  

And that's the perfect image of Donny - dancing with nobody else around in the freezing cold in his winter jacket outside of this random office building bar in Chicago.  He was so smart, ambitious, capable, driven, kind, and at the same time just always ready to make some joke, have a drink, or start dancing.  He was always around when I needed him, he was just always around.  He was just excited about life.  He wanted to be friends with everyone.  He was able to see the good in everyone.  He was always trying to help a friend in any way he could.  I can say for a fact that he made my life better, and I'm pretty sure a lot of other people would say the same thing.

Dear Fostners,

I’m so sorry for your loss.  Growing up at your house I lived vicariously through Jake and felt that Donny was an older brother to me too.  One of the most distinct memories I have of Donny is from the time he agreed to take me and Jake frolfing. We must have been 7 or 8. I remember he woke us up very early, which at the time I thought was weird because to my knowledge all guys his age slept forever. He pounced on us, chanting, “Santa came, Santa came, it’s Christmas!” That was a hell of a way to wake up…lots of confusion. To this day I’ve done the same routine to friends and roommates because it’s funny. The irony is that I’m sure Donny wished Santa came that day because I for sure lost several of his discs. I had a great time that day and every other time I saw Donny was a joy. His energy and compassion is something to live by. He was a great guy.

Sincerely, Matt.